Q&A Can You Be Friends With a Spouse You Don’t Trust?

QUESTION My husband and I have serious marriage problems.  We’ve been married for 31 years and basically, I have never felt connected to him emotionally.  We married before I felt that connection, and I naively thought it was something you got after living together.  In my attempts to address this, he has felt inadequate to meet my needs for friendship and love.  In the past he has suggested...

Q&A Parenting Question

QUESTION I understand the idea of “making it worth their while” in parenting.  However, could you give me some specific examples so I can understand how to apply it?  My youngest (of four) is fourteen–a darling daughter that I cherish.  I have taught her piano for a decade and still can’t seem to “make it worth her while” so she can really progress and come to...

Q&A Teenage Son with Asperger’s

Note:  Asperger’s Syndrome is a milder variant of Autistic Disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, along with limited and repeated patterns of interest and behavior. QUESTION  Any ideas for assisting our 17 year old son with Asperger’s who is very oppositional? ANSWER  My husband, Chris, has worked with some clients like your son—late adolescence, Asperger’s,...

Q&A: Husband’s Porn Problem

I have been married 7 1/2 years. My husband and I were married in the temple, both of us coming from strong LDS families/backgrounds. About a year into our marriage my husband confided in me that he was struggling with his faith and did not necessarily believe in God anymore. I honestly thought at this time he would “work it out.” He talked briefly with our bishop about his lack of faith,...

Q&A Does Depression Go With Us After This Life?

QUESTION There are two scriptures that have long troubled me that I would appreciate your perspective on. The scriptures are:  Alma 34:34 and Mormon 9:14. Alma 34:34: Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same...

Q&A: Challenging Child

QUESTION My husband and I have two little boys and a baby on the way. I am especially concerned about my son who just turned four.  He is physically healthy and strong for his age and looks like he is two years older than he really is.  He is a loving brother and smart boy, however, at times he is defiant and sometimes gets out-of-control with aggression if I follow through with him in any physical...

Q&A Eating Disorders

QUESTION: I struggle with eating disorders. My brother-in-law does not believe that mental disorders and problems are any different from physical problems. We had quite a discussion over Christmas and things have been very uncomfortable between us ever since. His daughter has a learning disability and his wife (my sister) is deaf in one ear. He told me that they know these things about themselves and...

Q&A Parenting: Consequences or Not?

QUESTION A therapist friend recently said not to give teens consequences for misbehaviors, but to process with them their fears that lead to misbehavior. He said this is the recent philosophy. An example: Our son, “Josh,” called from a friend’s house on New Year’s Eve and asked to sleep over, saying the parents had gone to bed, but were there. We agreed to the sleep over. The next day...

Q&A Boundaries With My Husband

QUESTION I read your BYU-I devotional on the 3 realms. I am dealing with a husband, “John,” with a pornography addiction. I turned completely to the Lord and He has taken me on a journey that has included a 13 month separation, 6 months together, then I left (I thought for good). The Lord sent me back home 4 months ago, but we’re still separated. (I don’t believe in divorce or separation...

Q&A Dealing with Sexual Abuse

QUESTION Last February we found out my brother-in-law had been sexually molesting two of my children this was confirmed by him. In the flurry of activity that followed including reporting the abuse to the police and his excommunication from the church, it was revealed that there has been extensive incest in my husband’s family both between siblings and by the maternal grandfather. This brother-in-law...
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