Q&A: Challenging Child

QUESTION My husband and I have two little boys and a baby on the way. I am especially concerned about my son who just turned four.  He is physically healthy and strong for his age and looks like he is two years older than he really is.  He is a loving brother and smart boy, however, at times he is defiant and sometimes gets out-of-control with aggression if I follow through with him in any physical...
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Q&A Eating Disorders

QUESTION: I struggle with eating disorders. My brother-in-law does not believe that mental disorders and problems are any different from physical problems. We had quite a discussion over Christmas and things have been very uncomfortable between us ever since. His daughter has a learning disability and his wife (my sister) is deaf in one ear. He told me that they know these things about themselves and...
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Q&A Parenting: Consequences or Not?

QUESTION A therapist friend recently said not to give teens consequences for misbehaviors, but to process with them their fears that lead to misbehavior. He said this is the recent philosophy. An example: Our son, “Josh,” called from a friend’s house on New Year’s Eve and asked to sleep over, saying the parents had gone to bed, but were there. We agreed to the sleep over. The next day...
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Q&A Boundaries With My Husband

QUESTION I read your BYU-I devotional on the 3 realms. I am dealing with a husband, “John,” with a pornography addiction. I turned completely to the Lord and He has taken me on a journey that has included a 13 month separation, 6 months together, then I left (I thought for good). The Lord sent me back home 4 months ago, but we’re still separated. (I don’t believe in divorce or separation...
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A Necessary Delay

Apologies to those who check my blog for not posting this week. My husband, Chris, is in Haiti with the Church medical team and that rather dramatically impacted my week. Chris was the pioneer of CISM (Critical Incident Stress Management) in LDS Family Services. While director of the Nevada Agency, he connected with the Red Cross and had his agency certified as disaster mental health workers. (That...
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Q&A Dealing with Sexual Abuse

QUESTION Last February we found out my brother-in-law had been sexually molesting two of my children this was confirmed by him. In the flurry of activity that followed including reporting the abuse to the police and his excommunication from the church, it was revealed that there has been extensive incest in my husband’s family both between siblings and by the maternal grandfather. This brother-in-law...
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Message For Moms

My new year started busy so I’ve been slower than I had hoped in posting. Here is a very brief post to get me back on track for 2010. This is a video clip of Nicole Johnson, a bestselling author, performer, and motivational speaker. Nicole has faced a number of personal challenges, including the divorce of her parents, childhood loneliness, loved ones with breast cancer and Alzheimer’s disease,...
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Q&A: More Comment Than Question on Self-Worth-Part 2

In Part One of this segment, I discussed the “Looking Glass Self,” which explains our self-image in terms of the “reflections” we see in the “mirrors” around us—parents and sibs to begin with and others as we grow up and become adults. So how do we heal our sense of self when it’s damaged and negative? We need to stop looking in the mirrors around us and look to the only perfect, unblemished...
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A Quick Christmas Post

Merry Christmas! You know, if you’d told me even five years ago that the day would come when every time I said “Merry Christmas” I’d feel like an activist, I wouldn’t have believed you. I used to mix it up, saying “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” without a second thought. Now, like it or not, I’ve developed Seasonal Salutation Sensitivity. And, lest I be mistaken for an anti-Christmas-ite,...
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Q&A: More Comment Than Question on Self-Worth-Part 1

Not a question but a comment. Ether 12:27 “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” As one with serious and debilitating weaknesses,...
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©2017 Lili Anderson, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.