Note:  Asperger’s Syndrome is a milder variant of Autistic Disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, along with limited and repeated patterns of interest and behavior. QUESTION  Any ideas for assisting our 17 year old son with Asperger’s who is very oppositional? ANSWER  My husband, Chris, has worked with some clients like your son—late adolescence, Asperger’s,...

I have been married 7 1/2 years. My husband and I were married in the temple, both of us coming from strong LDS families/backgrounds. About a year into our marriage my husband confided in me that he was struggling with his faith and did not necessarily believe in God anymore. I honestly thought at this time he would “work it out.” He talked briefly with our bishop about his lack of faith,...

This post is prompted by a comment/question responding to my last post on how to choose a therapist. The very relevant question, asked by “Pops,” was: “Who should see a therapist? These days we get therapy and medication for what would have been treated some time ago with a swift kick in the pants.” ANSWER I can’t disagree that therapy has become, in some circles, almost kitschy (“something...

I am often asked how to choose a therapist. My answer: LET THE BUYER BEWARE. Here are a few thoughts. Therapy is not cheap, so it makes sense to begin by checking with your insurance to see if there may be some coverage for mental/emotional health services. If there is coverage, there is generally a provider list—a list of therapists that have contracted with the insurance company. If you don’t...

This thought comes from an insight my husband, Chris, had several years ago. In the course of his scripture studies, he noticed that God does not use the word “plan” as a verb.  Scripturally, the word, “plan,” is always a noun. “Plan(s)” appears in the standard works (Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price) 34 times.  Notable uses of the word include...

QUESTION There are two scriptures that have long troubled me that I would appreciate your perspective on. The scriptures are:  Alma 34:34 and Mormon 9:14. Alma 34:34: Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same...

The Trouble with Giving Advice There are at least two potential problems with advice-giving. First, it attempts to move the person in pain prematurely forward to rational problem-solving. Most of us are aware that when in the grip of strong emotion, it’s difficult to think all that rationally, so it’s not really a good idea to consider solutions until after the emotions have been released and lessened...

QUESTION My husband and I have two little boys and a baby on the way. I am especially concerned about my son who just turned four.  He is physically healthy and strong for his age and looks like he is two years older than he really is.  He is a loving brother and smart boy, however, at times he is defiant and sometimes gets out-of-control with aggression if I follow through with him in any physical...

QUESTION: I struggle with eating disorders. My brother-in-law does not believe that mental disorders and problems are any different from physical problems. We had quite a discussion over Christmas and things have been very uncomfortable between us ever since. His daughter has a learning disability and his wife (my sister) is deaf in one ear. He told me that they know these things about themselves and...

QUESTION A therapist friend recently said not to give teens consequences for misbehaviors, but to process with them their fears that lead to misbehavior. He said this is the recent philosophy. An example: Our son, “Josh,” called from a friend’s house on New Year’s Eve and asked to sleep over, saying the parents had gone to bed, but were there. We agreed to the sleep over. The next day...