Do Him (and Yourself) a Christmas Favor—Forget the Hints

Now that Thanksgiving is past, Christmas shopping is officially underway. This is often a particularly stressful time for husbands trying to buy the right gift for wives. My advice: tell him what you want. I admit it. I like surprises. I’m also a really good guesser, which makes for a terrible combination. I remember times when I would purposefully not even look at the size or shape of wrapped items...
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Paying Our Debts

When I am employed in serving others, I don not look upon myself as conferring favors, but paying debts.        Benjamin Franklin My husband, Chris, went to the University of Oklahoma for his graduate degree. When we moved to Norman, Oklahoma, I was almost full term with our third baby.   My doctor had suggested I stay in Utah to have the baby—our third—and then join Chris after a few...
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Holiday Stress

With Thanksgiving just six days away, I’m starting to hear from some of my clients that the stresses are building. Sadly, what should be a great time of year can end up bringing a lot of misery and conflict instead of comfort and joy. This isn’t going to solve all holiday problems, but let me offer a couple of thoughts, in no particular order. First, some people dread the holidays because they...
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Empathy: Another Reason We Need Good Dads

Some of us have given up on watching or reading the daily news. But even then, it’s impossible not to hear some of the horrible stories about the violence in our society. As Robert Burns wrote: “Man’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn!” In a time wherein we know “the love of men shall wax cold” (D&C 45:27), how can we teach our children to care about their fellow man?...
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Q&A- Public Education, Private Schools, or Home Schooling?

Q&A- Public Education, Private Schools, or Home Schooling? Question: At what point do you advocate taking your children out of the public school because indoctrination has become so bad? Do the social benefits of private schooling outweigh the money savings of home-schooling? Answer: My husband, Chris, wants to limit his remarks to a quotation–the first line of Paul Simon’s song, Kodachrome:...
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Q&A-Thoughts on Divorce

QUESTION I am 30. My husband is a few years my junior. He’s a returned missionary and we were sealed in the temple. After our 2nd baby my husband had an affair with a 21 year-old woman he met through an online game. One day he had his things packed and informed me of the situation. We have been informally separated for 1 year. He is now stationed out of state with the military and will be for a couple...
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Teaching Your Kids to Delay Gratification

My very first post on this website discussed a “Key to Success in Life,” delayed or deferred gratification. One of the comments on that post asked the 64 dollar question: How do you teach your children to delay gratification? I responded that it was too involved an answer to give in comment form, but that I would write about it in a later post. Here it is: some thoughts on teaching our kids to...
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